When Life Gives You Ice Cubes
by Starfire-028
Summary: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. But when life gives you ice cubes, things get a whole lot harder. A young girl's life takes a turn for the weird when she finds herself in her favorite anime... as her favorite character.
1. Perspective

Author's Note: This fic is just the result of one of those random "What if?" moments I have sometimes. They pop in one moment, then either leave or nag me to death the next. In the case of the nagging to death ones, I turn them into fanfics. Like this one.

Spoilers for people who don't know who Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and the Vizards are, about up to episode 136 (since that's how far the me in this fic has gotten in watching the anime).

Note: All the names in here have been changed to protect the innocent! This has been a special public service announcement! -gets whacked on the head-

Another note: You'll see terms like Captain, taichou, spiritual pressure, and reiatsu, sometimes all in the same chapter, because I usually flip-flop between English terms and Japanese terms. When I'm writing fanfics I'll pick something and stick with it, but for this instance you'll see me switch between the two simply because that's just how I am. :D The same thing with Hyorinmaru's release command. "Soar in the frozen sky," "Sit upon the frosted heavens," "Reign over the frosted, frozen sky," "Souten ni zase" (which is Japanese), etc. I've heard and seen it done with several variations, so predictably I'll flip-flop on that too.

Yet another note: This is going to be one of those fics where I'll just write pretty much whatever comes to mind and update it whenever I want. It's how I got through the first chapter, so that's how I'll do the rest of the story. The fic really only exists so I can have something to ensure I keep uploading stuff to FFDN, really, even if I'm uploading at random intervals.

Disclaimer: Bleach © Tite Kubo and Viz Media. I do not own Bleach, nor will I ever (though I would love to own one white-haired chibi taichou… XD).

* * *

><p>Y'know, it's funny sometimes, the turns life can take.<p>

"SOAR IN THE FROZEN SKY!"

Some turns are good, some aren't, but there's always a bunch of each.

"HYORINMARU!"

Of course, whether a turn is good or bad is also a matter of opinion; seeing the glass as half-empty or half-full, so to speak.

CLANG!

"You bastard!"

Me, I'm usually an optimist. The half-full type, if you will.

"What's wrong? Afraid to hurt me?"

But today isn't one of my good days.

"Get out of my sister's body, damnit!"

As you can probably guess, I've got issues; my life didn't just take a turn for the worse, it took a turn for the FUCK-WE'RE-ALL-GONNA-DIE type of worse. And I have to admit most of that is unfortunately the result of my stupidity screwing everything to hell and back.

But just jumping into the story won't do you or me any good, so I'll start at the beginning. Six months ago to be exact…

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1: Perspective<span>

"Yeah! Go Hitsugaya! WOO!"

The grinning idiot right there, with the brown hair and the brown eyes and the can of soda? Yeah. That's me. The kid next to me-

"DIE, MOMO!"

-well, that's my sister. Together we're the Dynamic Duo, Allison and Katie, two of the most anime-addicted pair of girls ever. Except maybe a couple of my friends, like Kira (ironically a Deathnote fan), the other Katy (also a Deathnote fan, and Kira's best friend), and the twins, Casey and Alyssa (InuYasha and Black Cat for both); they're pretty psycho over anime too.

At the moment, we're watching Bleach. It's the episode where Hitsugaya is fighting Gin. Where we're at now (we just started the episode), Hitsugaya's got his back to Gin, saying stuff about how Gin did something about lies that reminded him of a dagger or something, and was related to Momo's hands bleeding from gripping her sword so hard. Or something. I can't quite remember it exactly.

I'm rooting for Hitsugaya; Katie's rooting for him too, but she's also rooting for Momo's death even though we know she won't die. Not yet anyway, at least up to episode 136. We were feeling nostalgic, so instead of continuing on to episode 137 like we probably should, we decided to go back to the Soul Society arc for a bit.

"I gave you a warning," Hitsugaya hissed, his reiatsu showing. He's all glary and stuff; really freaking furious, in other words, especially if his voice is anything to go by.

"I told you that if you ever hurt Momo…" He whirled around, emerald eyes blazing. "_I would kill you myself!_"

Hitsugaya is awesome. Plain and simple.

Gin's just standing there smirking, his haori blowing in the wind, while Hitsugaya crouches and puts his hand on Hyorinmaru's hilt, his reiatsu glowing white.

"Hmph… This will never do," says Gin, placing his hand on Shinso's hilt as well. "If you insist on drawing your sword in a place like this…" He became surrounded with silver reiatsu. "Then I'm afraid you leave me no other choice than to stop you."

The episode logo, Bleach 48, showed up, all blue and icy. Jeez, seems like episode 48 was so long ago in comparison to 137. All the crap with the Arrancar.

I was grinning uncontrollably now. I don't know about Katie, but I _always_ enjoy awesome Hitsugaya moments. Especially this episode.

Izuru is standing in the background, staring at Gin. "But… Captain Ichimaru…"

"Better move back, Izuru," Gin says, sounding like he's enjoying the whole situation. Then again, he _always_ sounds like that. "Unless… you feel like dying."

Izuru's eyes widen, and I imagine he's trembling (wimp…).

"Don't be stupid, Izuru," Hitsugaya hisses, sounding a lot like a dangerous Joker. Not that that bothered me any; in my opinion Steve Staley did a freaking awesome job in dubbing him. "Just moving back isn't going to be enough!"

He unsheathes Hyorinmaru and points him at Gin, and I think at this point I gave a tiny excited squeal.

"In a few minutes, I promise you you're not going to want to be within ten square miles of this place!" Hitsugaya's voice is low and dangerous, and I get the feeling that he's barely keeping his anger in check; the only thing stopping him from abandoning his training and just trying his level best to remove Gin's head from his shoulders.

His head is down and shadowed, giving the scene dramatic effect as his reiatsu starts to flare up. "So start running and don't look back!"

Both hands grip his zanpakuto.

"Because if you stay here, you're liable to get drawn into this… and I can't guarantee I won't _kill you by mistake!_"

That's Hitsugaya for you; badass as ever. I love how furious he sounds, since he tries not to show much emotion, being Mr. Stoic Ice Captain that he is. Or at least he tries not to show being "happy." Not that that bothers me of course…

But by now I'm sure you've figured out that _nothing_ about Hitsugaya _ever_ bothers me. I will easily admit that I'm that much of a fangirl.

He disappears and reappears above Gin, Hyorinmaru raised.

And so the battle began. Hitsugaya slashes at Gin, the other Captain easily dodging with his smirk in place. Each attack creates a blast of air that forces Izuru back each time, even with as far away as he's standing (read: cowering).

After Gin comments to Hitsugaya about him being dangerous, the Squad 10 taichou's reiatsu flares again, coming off him in waves.

I don't know if it was possible, but I think I grinned wider. "Come on…" I murmured in expectation. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Katie staring at the screen with the same intensity as me.

A few seconds later found Hyorinmaru's chain wrapping around Shinso. Hitsugaya jumps over Gin, and Gin jerks Shinso back, the chains sliding off easily.

"I see," he says. "I had better not underestimate you… Toshiro Hitsugaya."

I squeaked again. When I try to hold in my excitement that much it ends up showing anyway.

"Or else I might end up regretting it afterwards," Gin continues, gazing at Hitsugaya. How he does that with his eyes closed is beyond me, but hey. No complaints here.

Hitsugaya's crouching on the wooden floor in front of the silver-haired Captain, Hyorinmaru pointed at him, turquoise eyes narrowed. "No…" he says, bowing his head. "You're wrong about that."

Gin's smirk slips.

"_Because you're going to start regretting this day right now!_"

Hitsugaya's eyes open, glowing a bright, icy white.

"Remember… it's _you_ who forced me to do this, Gin." He stands up, his reiatsu enveloping him. "And now you're going to pay for what you did to Momo!"

He jumps into the air, and the sky darkens.

"Can't wait till we see his bankai again," I whispered.

Katie nodded, her eyes not leaving the screen. "Yeah," she breathed.

Hitsugaya raises Hyorinmaru, and calls, "Reign over the frosted, frozen sky!"

Just as the giant ice dragon started to emerge from his sword, our mom walked into the room and flicked on the light (we'd been sitting in the dark). I practically fell over myself to pause the video before I missed any of the awesomeness, while Katie settled for glaring at Mom.

"Time to go to bed, girls," she said with a stern look.

We groaned dramatically, heaving huge sighs.

"Come on," I complained. "It's just… uh, just four more minutes!" More like eight, but hey, who's counting?

"You girls need to go to bed. It's twelve o'clock," she said with a pointed look. I glanced at the clock to confirm any doubts that I might have had and saw that it was indeed twelve o'clock. 12:03, but again, who's counting?

We groaned again. "Okayyyyy," we huffed.

A couple minutes later we were in bed, waiting to drift into blissful (and much-needed) sleep.

I snuggled deeper under my covers, grateful that summer was around the corner. Not only did it mean that we could have more free time to watch anime, but it also meant that my room wasn't as cold. Apparently some idiot had covered up a hole the wrong way when the construction people were building the house, and cold air came in through it and kept my room cooler than it should be, or something.

I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, thinking about Bleach. Both about the increasing threat of the Arrancar, and the episodes in the Soul Society arc. In a way, I kind of missed the days when we were still going through those episodes for the first time. All the fighting, and the first time seeing bankai, and all the mystery and deception. I really loved the Soul Society arc, and I think Katie did too. Not that we don't now, it's just…

Well, with the Arrancar Arc, or the Winter War arc, or whatever you want to call it, I just get this weird feeling that something _big_ is going to happen soon. It won't be the same old Bleach anymore. Looking back, I realize how simple it was back in the very first episodes. It was funny (mostly due to Keigo and Rukia), Orihime wasn't such an emo, uh, witch, there weren't any super-powerful "The world's in danger, let's go save it!" kind of "villains," stuff like that.

I'm worried about what comes next, I guess.

While watching stuff on YouTube I found a trailer for the second Bleach movie, _The DiamondDust Rebellion_. The whole "Execute Hitsugaya" thing is unnerving, though it could just be Head Bastard Yamamoto being, well, a bastard, just like usual. Seems like he's the reason Soul Society has most of its enemies (I think it was him who banished that group of soul reapers from Memories of Nobody, so you can't say my theory is completely unsound). Not to mention that there's this masked guy saying stuff about how once Hitsugaya called himself his friend or something.

I'm hoping to find out about Hitsugaya's past, but not if it means getting him killed in the process. Yeesh. If Tite Kubo or the animators kill him off, I'm going to have to go strangle someone. Then sue Viz Media. Hell, I'll sue Tite Kubo himself; just bring Hitsu back ALIVE!

Though, he seems like too much of an important character to be killed off just like that (or even turn traitor, though that I'm not quite as sure about). After all, he's leading the team of soul reapers in Karakura, and he's got the whole thing with Momo and Aizen.

Still, there's no law anywhere saying that even the main character is off-limits from being killed.

I sighed.

Wonderful. Now I got myself all depressed.

I looked at the clock through half-open eyes.

12:10.

Huh. I could've sworn it had been longer than that.

Ignoring it, I turned over and pulled the covers up to my neck, getting nice and cozy. Tomorrow I'd go nag Katie to dump the nostalgia and just continue to episode 137. After all, we had 154 and the next movie to get to.

I closed my eyes, and a few minutes later, I was drifting into dreamland.

* * *

><p><span>Author's Note<span>: Short starting chapter, but the second chapter's a bit longer. I should know, considering it's already done. However, just 'cause I feel like it, I'm going to wait until Saturday to upload it. Nyaaaahhhhh~ :P

In all seriousness, though, I would appreciate any thoughts, comments, concerns, etc.

See you Saturday (nyaaahhh~) with the next chapter! Please review!


	2. Eternity

Author's Note: Okay, it's not THAT much longer, but it _is _longer.

I don't own Bleach. Not much else to say, really.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 2: Eternity<span>

I dreamed I was asleep.

Then I heard my alarm clock go off, so I "woke up" and tried to make it shut up by throwing it against the wall, which was surprising, both because it didn't do a single thing to the annoyingly beeping clock (even though I'd just unplugged it by chucking it), and because I'm SO not that violent. My room was dark, just like it usually was in the morning, so it was weird when it suddenly got sunny and turned into a field of flowers.

Just as quickly, I found myself dressed in a blue t-shirt and a pair of red blue jeans. I know how weird that sounds, but the jeans were blue and red at exactly the same time; not purple, but both blue over red and red over blue. It was weird, but it's a dream. What can I say?

Hitsugaya appeared in front of me suddenly, in normal attire (for him anyway), including having Hyorinmaru on his back, but as tall as me, which meant five foot ten rather than four foot four. His haori waved in the cool, gentle breeze, and he was smiling, which is a rare sight. He gently grabbed my hand, and we proceeded to…

_Skip through the flowers_.

If you people have even the slightest inkling of what I am like, then you will know that _I do not do skipping of any sort, __**especially**__ through flowers_. Why the hell I was doing this now, dream or not, is beyond me.

It only got weirder as Gin joined up too. He was holding _Hitsugaya's_ hand, which was weird in and of itself, but his hair was Grimmjow's shade of blue, and he had also been stabbed in the chest with Shinso, right over his heart. The hilt was sticking out the front, the blade out the back, and there was blood pouring down both sides, but he was still smiling and skipping as if he was perfectly fine.

I could hear birdsong, and butterflies flew around the field, minding their own business.

Dream me wasn't freaked out by this at all for some reason, so I continued skipping along. We didn't stop, even when the field of flowers turned to a plain of gray ice, and then a river of blood.

Things got downright fucking scary then, and I don't swear that bad unless I _mean_ it.

I turned to look at Hitsugaya and Gin, still smiling, and I watched with horrified eyes as their skin literally melted off their bones, leaving a pair of leering skeletons.

I think I screamed then, but I don't remember if it was right there or when the bloody skeletons grabbed my clothes and tried to pull me into the even bloodier river. I grabbed their bones – _ew_ – and ripped them off, and kicked them in the ribcages to knock them down, but one detached arm (do _not_ ask me who it belonged to) started to claw at my ankle, and I kicked it away, ignoring the stinging cuts it had inflicted.

I screamed out of sheer panic and terror and just started running, the dream having turned into a really fucked up nightmare. The skeletons behind me were laughing, and the sick part of it was that it now sounded like the younger Momo and Hitsugaya; the two of them from their Rukon days.

I didn't chance a look back. I just kept running. With my eyes closed, like an idiot, I might add.

I got the wind knocked out of me when I hit something thick and slightly softer than a concrete wall.

I opened my eyes to look up, and I saw that I had just run into Yammy's leg. He grinned widely and drew back a fist, and I shrank back, my eyes wide with fear.

"Don't worry, Orihime, I'll save you!" I heard Ichigo say from behind me.

But when I turned to look, I screamed again and backed up against Yammy's leg.

It was _Hollow_ Ichigo, Shirosaki, with the skin and most of the muscle on the right half of his body missing. In the remaining muscle and sinew, I could see little writhing white specks. _Maggots_.

_He was infested with maggots_.

I blanched, trying but failing miserably to back up further, fighting the urge to vomit at both the image he presented and the putrid odor hanging around him and the river we stood in.

The rest of the skin on his face was white, peeling, and oozing blood, and his jaw was almost falling off, hanging on only by a few loose threads. His eyes were the only thing that remained the same; black and amber orbs gazed at me with a burning intensity, revealing both power and madness, and reveling in it.

He reached for me with a clawed, bloody hand that quickly wrapped itself around my throat.

I tried to pull his hand back, tried to get just one breath of air, and for one insane moment I realized that this is what Hiyori must have felt like when she had been strangled by him earlier, before the Vizards had accepted the real Ichigo into their ranks.

I kept waiting to pass out, kept _wanting_ to pass out, but he just held me in midair, cutting my lungs off from much-needed oxygen. We stayed like that for what felt like forever, which was impossible; I should have passed out a _long_ time ago.

His hand clenched, and I felt five sparks of fresh pain. Warm liquid began to crawl down my neck. My blood was being added to the river.

Hollow Ichigo smiled dangerously, revealing pointed teeth.

Suddenly he let go, and as I fell I instinctively inhaled, but choked and coughed when I found my mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood.

The world around me spun and became black. I saw a rapidly-approaching white speck, and in a heartbeat, Sosuke Aizen was standing before me, Kyoka Suigetsu plunged deep in his chest and covered in his own blood.

"You remember, don't you?" he asked, his brown eyes kind. The bastard looked just like he had in the Soul Society arc, damn him; the Aizen that had been Kyoka Suigetsu's illusion of him on the wall. "You remember what I told Hitsugaya, don't you, but he didn't believe me, I think. You believe me, don't you?"

He knelt down next to me, putting a deceptively comforting hand on my shoulder. His chest wound oozed glistening red liquid.

"_Admiration is the feeling furthest away from understanding_," he hissed in my ear, sending shivers of terror down my spine. Standing up, he ripped Kyoka Suigetsu from his chest, blood spraying from the newly opened wound, and pointed the blade at my heart.

I couldn't move.

In an instant, he brought the blade down, my skin burned, and everything went black.

* * *

><p>I woke up screaming.<p>

I sat up, my chest heaving, my eyes wide, both me and my sheets drenched in sweat.

What the hell _was_ that? That felt entirely too real to be just a nightmare.

Trembling, I reached up to feel the side of my neck and breathed a sigh of relief when I found it unmarred by puncture wounds.

I sat in the dark for several minutes, trying to calm down. Thankfully, the irrational fear quickly left me, leaving only numb exhaustion. That dream must have taken a lot out of me…

I laid back down, moved to the least sweaty spot I could find, and drifted back into an uneasy sleep.

I was so tired, I hadn't even noticed…

* * *

><p>What woke me up the next morning wasn't my alarm clock, but the sun.<p>

Warm, hazy sunlight streamed in through the windows, making me unable to roll over and go back to sleep, even though I was somehow still utterly exhausted. I pulled the blanket over my head anyway. That nightmare must _really_ have taken a lot out of me if I was too tired to even _move_.

I just laid there for a few minutes, staring at the back of my eyelids as I listened to birds tweeting outside (no, not Twitter tweeting, chirping tweeting). Interestingly, I didn't hear any of the annoying coo-COO-coo noises that the doves in my neighborhood usually make. But the birds I did hear sounded almost like music, with their flute-like calls, and I thought about getting up to go look out the window to see if I could spot them.

I sighed, opening my eyes. Trying to go back to sleep obviously wasn't doing much good. But I decided to stay there; I was comfy. When I'm comfy, I don't move, tired or not.

Unfortunately my comfort quickly ended, to be replaced by confusion.

The blanket I was under was white, a little thicker than a sheet. Not my blue comforter.

I pulled the blanket off my head and sat up to look around, and noticed something important.

This was _not_ my room.

But then who the hell _did_ it belong to?

Was I kidnapped somehow while I was asleep or something?

Heart racing and now completely awake, I slipped out of bed, walking over to a closet to find something to wear.

Huh. Nothing girl-specific, but it mostly looked like stuff I usually wore (pants and stuff). I say mostly, but there was really only maybe five sets of clothes in there. Few shirts, a pair of pants, and a weird black robeish thing. I opted for a sort of greenish tank top (not my usual choice, but it was that or the weird button-up shirt next to it) and a pair of simple black shorts. While I put them on, I kept an eye on the door (a sliding _shoji_ door, I noted), but no one walked in. So, since I was now dressed, I decided to go out and sneak around (and hope to God and everything else out there that I _wasn't_ kidnapped).

I grabbed the edge of the door and slowly slid it open, not making a sound.

I stepped out into the hallway, and, looking one way and trying to walk the other, I predictably ran into something. Or someone, rather, which ended with me getting knocked down on my rear.

"Ow… sorry," I said, out of pure habit.

"Oh, there you are, Captain!" I heard a weirdly familiar voice say, her tone amused. "It's not like you to sleep in _this_ late, you know. I was getting worried." I stood up with wide eyes to see the incredible sight of a paperwork-toting Rangiku Matsumoto… and her boobs, which – disturbingly – had been the things I'd run into.

"Gah! Close your shirt!" I said, spinning around, cheeks flaming. God, doesn't that woman have _any_ modesty?

Of course, now _that_ was the _least_ of my problems. What I had just said, I hadn't said in _my_ voice. Instead, the voice that came out was so familiar, I'd have recognized it anywhere.

"What's the matter, Captain? You usually don't complain about the way I dress." Rangiku's voice had both amusement and that tone she used when she was teasing; I could practically feel her grinning at me.

Me, I wasn't so amused. While this situation might be amusing while I was watching it in anime form, being _in_ a certain someone's shoes was different. Especially being as short as he was. _Why_ hadn't I at least noticed the height difference earlier?

"This can't be happening," I whispered, again in _that_ voice.

_What the hell is going on?_

I darted back into the room, ignoring the blond Lieutenant, looking for a mirror. A full body one rested against the far wall, opposite the side I had gotten out of bed, so it's no wonder I'd missed it.

I stood in front of it, then gripped the sides, as if willing it to change the picture it presented.

With wide eyes, messed-up hair, and wearing clothes from the world of the living, it wasn't him on one of his best days, but it was definitely him.

Somehow, I had gotten myself stuck in the body of Toshiro Hitsugaya.

I blacked out.

* * *

><p>"…perfectly fine, Lieutenant. He just fainted."<p>

"But _why_? He's _never_ fainted. Passed out from lack of blood, yes, but never just outright _fainted_."

I kept my – his – _my_ eyes closed as I listened to a somewhat distraught Rangiku and someone vaguely familiar talking. I could understand Rangiku's concern. No one would think that Hitsugaya, Mr. Stoic Ice Captain, would ever _faint_. It was just too out of character. Staying still, I slowly found that I was lying on a bed. Like one of those softish-firmish ones you lay on in the doctor's office. I must have been in one of Squad 4's treatment rooms, then. Rangiku must really have been freaked if she dragged me/him all the way down here.

God, this is so confusing.

"What was he doing before he fainted?" I heard the vaguely familiar voice ask.

"I think he'd just gotten out of bed by the time I got over there. He opened his bedroom door, looked around, and then ran right into me," Rangiku replied. "I don't think he even knew I was there. Then he turned red and told me to close my shirt, and then stood there looking away for a moment before running back into the bedroom to look in the mirror. That's when he fainted."

"Hmm… Well, only one person has the answer to this puzzle. Isn't that right, Captain Hitsugaya?"

Damnit.

Figures Captain Unohana would know I was awake.

Still, Rangiku hadn't noticed that fact, so I made a show of stretching and faked a small yawn before sitting up and opening bleary eyes.

"Captain, are you feeling all right?" Rangiku blurted as soon as I looked at her. Keeping eye contact, I noticed she _still_ hadn't closed that damn shirt.

I realized she was waiting for an answer, and as I tried to keep Hitsugaya's usual mask of ice in place, I did my best to cough importantly and force out a grumpy-sounding "I'm fine." Short, sweet, and possibly what the real Hitsugaya would have said.

…I'm doomed.

"You haven't had any dizzy spells recently, have you?" Unohana asked in what I called her "doctor" tone, and I could tell that she was trying to pry information from me in that weird indirect way of hers. Not that it was exactly necessary right now, as I wasn't a stubborn mule like Hitsugaya. I just shook my head.

"No. Honestly, I'm fine. I'm just…" I paused for a moment, debating on whether or not I was staying in character, and then sighed, frowning. "…I'm just a bit tired."

A small, knowing smile graced Unohana's face, and Rangiku looked relieved. Hmm. If I'd said I was completely exhausted, like I actually was, they probably would've freaked out. Even at his worst, Hitsugaya will still put on a stubbornly brave face; unfortunately for me, that meant I now had to do it in his place, despite the "I'm not a stubborn mule" comment I said a moment ago.

"Well then, Captain Hitsugaya, I would suggest that you take the day off to rest and recuperate," Unohana said with a smile, patting my leg. Thing is, she used that particular tone that said she expected me to do it, and if I didn't do it, she'd find a way to make me.

I can understand why the Squad 11 guys are so afraid of her.

"What about the paperwork?" I asked gruffly, rather than give her an actual reply. Truth be told, it was more than just attempting to stay in character; I was worried _I_ would end up doing it, and English dub or not, they still write in Japanese, which I can't even read much less fake Hitsugaya's handwriting!

Unohana looked at Rangiku, saying, "I'm sure your capable Lieutenant will be more than happy to take care of it for the day."

Rangiku's relieved smile now looked a little strained, I noted with some amusement, but she nodded. Thank God.

I sighed again, trying to keep up Hitsugaya's "I refuse to sleep until every scrap of paper has been signed" attitude. "All right. Matsumoto, I expect _all_ of that paperwork to be completed and turned in today." Studiously ignoring her groan, I bowed to Unohana (trying to make the movement look as relaxed yet reserved as possible so it wouldn't seem like I'd never done it before, which I hadn't), then started to follow Rangiku out the door.

"Captain."

Something in Unohana's tone stopped me. I turned back to face her while Rangiku continued to the Squad 10 barracks.

"If something is troubling you, something you feel you can't share with your Lieutenant, you are welcome to stop by any time to talk," Unohana said, neither her voice nor her expression giving anything away.

They didn't need to.

She knows. I know she does. That's just the way she is; she can find out if something's off about someone faster than you can blink.

I stared uneasily at her for a moment before nodding jerkily, and then I followed Rangiku out the door, not looking back. Said Lieutenant was waiting for me down the hall, impatiently leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, and we started heading back to Squad 10 together.

I could freak out when we got there.

* * *

><p><span>Author's Note<span>: Wow, freaky dream. Came up with that while listening to a Bleach AMV I found on YouTube. It's called Hitsugaya's Death, done by the user HitsugayaToshiro93 (go figure), and it's got the song Already Over by Red. Pretty good song (and video). But be warned, there's some DiamondDust Rebellion spoilers included. Actually, I think the whole thing is DDR-centric. So if you don't want to spoil the movie, don't watch it. Just listen. X3

The next chapter is close to being finished, and is already a bit longer than this one, so it will probably be posted sometime within the next couple of days (by Monday, if I can help it).

So, what do you guys think? Good detail? Was the dream okay? Too creepy? Do you like the plot, or what little of it there is right now?

Tell me what you think! All comments, good or bad, are appreciated.


	3. Fury

Author's Note: First things first. I don't own Bleach. That honor belongs to the super-special-awesome Tite Kubo.

Second, yes, I know I passed my own deadline. By almost a week. But hey, it's here! And now that it is, I shall officially stop setting deadlines for myself. I said this fic was going to be updated _whenever_, so… It shall! :D

I'm not particularly satisfied with this chapter… Something, something I can't put my finger on, is just plain _off_ about this chapter. I just feel like I can add more detail or do _something_, but at the moment it seems like I can't. Believe me, I tried. And I realized I can't do even a one-sided fight scene worth a crap. -sigh-

On a lighter note, occasionally at the end of a chapter I'll have a short third-person view of things concerning "Hitsugaya," generally from Rangiku's view (and generally after "Hitsugaya" has fallen asleep, though there will be some exceptions). You'll see the first one at the end of this chapter.

EDIT: Heh, whoops. Forgot to edit some stuff before posting. Sorry if some of you got an alert twice.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 3: Fury<span>

_Who, what, when, where, and why?_

_Who, what, when, where, and why? …and how, too…_

Such thoughts were all that was buzzing through my head as Rangiku and I walked back to the Squad 10's Captain's quarters. It's a good thing that Rangiku was leading; otherwise I'd have walked into several walls by now and would still have no idea how to make my way back to the barracks.

A couple minutes later we stopped just outside Hitsugaya's – _my_ – room. Rangiku slid open the door and gently ushered me inside, saying, "Don't worry about the paperwork, Captain. I'll make sure to get it all taken care of. You just stay here and rest." Emphasis on "rest." Funny how fast she could go from being the immodest Lieutenant to a mother hen; almost a matter of seconds.

I paused, then nodded gratefully. "Thank you… Lieutenant."

Rangiku smiled softly and closed the door, and I waited until the sound of her footsteps faded before flopping down on the bed with a sigh.

No wonder I'd been so tired this morning. Hitsugaya usually stayed up until he either finished his work or passed out from lack of sleep. Considering I'd woken up in his bed, he must have finished his work before reaching the pass-out point, but he'd gotten close. I felt like sleeping for another year, I was so exhausted. But even though I tried, sleep just wouldn't come.

So I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

So far, I had the _where _figured out; Soul Society, obviously, and if you want to get a bit more specific, the Squad 10 barracks. There was no knowing _who_ did it, or _how_ or _why_. I couldn't immediately come with a _what_, so all that was left was the _when_.

When was I? What episode, what point in the series? A specific episode, or in-between? Maybe even a divergent timeline? It wouldn't surprise me.

Is this before or after the Aizen incident? If it's before, then Momo is her normal, happy, Aizen-adoring self, and Aizen – technically speaking – isn't a traitor. Yet. But if that's so, then when the Soul Society and Rescue Rukia arcs come along, I'll have to fight Gin and Aizen without having any idea how to do it, since I have no idea how to use a sword. I'm no good with just trying to punch or kick anything, either, so even Hakuda and definitely Shunpo is out the window, and Kido is out of the question for the same reason as using a zanpakuto.

However, if it's _after_, then Momo will most likely still be in a coma and I'll have the Arrancar arc sitting on my doorstep.

Either way, I'm not looking forward to getting sliced in half, by Aizen or Shawlong. Or whatever comes _after_ that. If I manage to make it that far, I'm screwed, since I only know a few things that happen after that. And the things I _do_ know that fall under that category are at least a hundred episodes away; the information won't be of any help to me right now.

Well… I won't have to worry about being sliced in half if I end up dying first, which would mean that the DiamondDust Rebellion trailer I saw was right about Hitsugaya being executed…

Nothing is worse than having nothing better to do than to just sit there and think about your own death.

Heh. I was going to get Hitsugaya killed and it wouldn't even be him dying.

I let out an insane-sounding cackle, one that sounded especially strange coming from Hitsugaya's mouth.

"Well I can't just sit here and mope all day," I said with false enthusiasm, a crooked grin marking the white-haired Captain's face.

I rolled off the bed to sit in front of the mirror, legs crossed, while I tried to get my/Hitsugaya's hair back into its normal spiky position (at the moment it was kind of flat and looked more like Rukon!Hitsu's hair).

I don't know how the hell he usually got it to stay up like that (maybe he borrowed some of Kenpachi's hair gel or something), but at last I was able to get it at least a little bit spikier. More Hitsu-ish in any case. I'm glad I didn't have to worry about the little foof; apparently that was natural.

After that I spent the next twenty minutes or so getting into the shihakusho (that "black robeish thing" I'd seen in the closet earlier) and white undershirt thing. After much folding and stuffing and tying and such, I finally got the stupid robes looking mostly like they should, though if someone examined them closely enough they'd definitely be able to notice that something was off.

I found his Captain's haori neatly folded in one of the drawers pushed up against the wall (luckily it was in the first drawer I opened; thinking back, I realize how weird and embarrassing it would have been to open the drawer and find a bunch of underwear inside). I unfolded it and briefly admired the white, silky material before sticking an arm through the sleeve hole and flinging the rest over my back. I stuck my other arm through the other hole, and as I tugged the sleeve out I adjusted the haori and tried to look serious before turning back to look in the mirror.

The Squad 10 Captain gazed back at me from his glassy prison, turquoise eyes calm, looking unusually stern.

I quirked a white eyebrow, and the mirror image copied me and suddenly seemed to be amused with me. A smile twitched on his lips before stretching into a full grin, and he laughed quietly.

It was nice to hear him laugh; I hadn't heard it before.

Regaining some semblance of my "composure," I realized that there was hope for me, at least. If nothing else, I'd be able to pull off looking like him and acting like him for a while so as not to raise suspicion, something in which my fangirlish knowledge of Hitsugaya would come in handy… but sooner or later I would _have_ to fight, be it Arrancar or Aizen, and my secret would be out in the open. Not to mention I'd be vulnerable to attack, able to be killed by even the weakest Hollow…

I sat down on the bed, feeling somewhat deflated. No matter what point I'm at now, there's going to be difficult times ahead.

* * *

><p>I spent the next couple of hours exploring the Captain's quarters to which I was confined. Rangiku didn't suddenly decide to pop up out of nowhere, which was good, because I didn't have an excuse for why I was running around and looking at everything as if I'd never seen it before (which of course I hadn't, but you get the point).<p>

Hitsugaya's quarters were actually quite spacious for just one person, though I suppose that just comes with the territory. Being in a position of power has its perks.

The hall just outside the bedroom was in an L shape, with the shorter side being in front of the bedroom and the longer side stretching off to the left. Down the shorter was a bathroom and what looked like a linen closet (or something that served a similar purpose), while the longer led to a living-room-like space. About halfway there the wooden wall turned into shoji doors, and when I slid them open, I found myself in a beautiful secluded garden.

A large sakura tree resided in the far right corner of the little courtyard. Various ferns and flowers I couldn't name bordered both the enclosing walls and a clear koi-filled pond that rested under the sakura. Petals of various shades of pink and red drifted gently through the air before settling on the grass, and the sakura's branches rustled quietly.

I smiled and sat down on the edge of the wooden path, realizing I'd neglected to even put on _tabi_ when my feet touched cool stone.

I sat there for a while, simply enjoying the cool breeze and sweet scent of the flowers. The corners of Hitsugaya's haori moved gently in the wind, and I allowed myself to relax.

When I laid back against the wood floor, though, I realized I'd forgotten a critical part of Hitsugaya's appearance.

The peaceful feeling left abruptly as I hit myself in the head. I jumped up and ran back into Hitsugaya's room, berating myself for actually forgetting Hyorinmaru. _HYORIN-FREAKING-MARU_, of all things!

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" I muttered over and over again as I looked for Hitsugaya's green sash. It was in the same drawer I'd found his haori in, along with the little flower clip.

I saw Hyorinmaru resting on a wooden stand next to the bed (yet another thing I hadn't noticed earlier this morning). Almost reverently I picked it – him? – up and raised a hand to draw him out of his sheath.

But as soon as my fingers brushed against the blue hilt, an icy shock ran up my arm, and I blacked out for the second time that day.

* * *

><p>I awoke to find frost on my face and my limbs numb with cold.<p>

'_This isn't right_,' I thought, shivering, my breath coming in small puffs of moist, warm air. God, even my _bones_ felt frozen. '_Hitsugaya _controls_ the cold… He can't – shouldn't – even feel it or be harmed by it…_'

I sat up and started to brush the snow from my limbs, and made a very important discovery.

A giant, sinuous dragon made from perfectly sculpted blue ice was curled around himself in front of me, watching me with narrowed crimson eyes. His lip was curled in a gesture of contempt, and revealed long, icicle-like fangs.

"H-Hyorinmaru," I whispered, unable to keep a quaver of fear from my voice.

His head alone was at least ten feet from his nose to the point where his horns began, almost twice as tall as I was normally; the stag-like horns themselves added another five or six feet _at least_, and I had no idea how long the rest of his body was. With just his size alone, he could crush me like an insect, never mind using his unique abilities.

There in the field of snow, I trembled, and it had nothing do to with the cold.

Hyorinmaru represented Hitsugaya's power, equally as cold and unyielding as his wielder. He was the spirit of Hitsugaya's zanpakuto, frighteningly fierce as both an enemy and an ally. He controlled the weather, changing it at his leisure. He taught Hitsugaya to wield him, and thus pushed the tensai to the lofty perch of the youngest ever Captain in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. The dragon bowed to no one _but_ his wielder.

Because of that, I was very, very afraid.

Despite appearances, I was _not_ his wielder, and Hyorinmaru obviously knew it.

"_**Where is he?"**_ the giant dragon roared, raising his giant ice-covered wings and sending a powerful gust of wind slicing through the air just above me. Hyorinmaru's voice was like splintering ice, and it shook the ground I rested on.

"I don't know," I said quietly as I slowly, carefully, cautiously rose to my feet, my eyes never leaving the dragon's head.

He roared again, right _at me_, and he lifted an icicle-spiked tail and swung it in my direction. I just barely dodged it, and by barely dodging I mean that I hadn't let Hitsugaya's body get maimed. Though I was now sporting a shredded sleeve and a set of deep cuts down my right arm, as well as being pierced by some of the shards flung from his tail.

"Hyorinmaru! Stop!" I cried, panicking as I tried to dodge a second, more violent attack that almost ended with me being crushed and riddled with spear-like icicles. The slowly-falling snow abruptly changed into a raging blizzard, a dangerous indication of the great dragon's violent mood.

"_**Bring him back!"**_ Hyorinmaru roared, a dragon-shaped silhouette in the blizzard, his wings beating the air in a frenzy and creating giant flurries of ice and snow. His serpentine body uncoiled and stretched to its full length, and it was then that I realized how truly _massive_ the ice dragon was.

"I don't know how!" I screamed back, pure adrenaline giving me a boost as I jumped out of the way of the mace-like tail. The ice shards that flew off upon impact now gave me a bit of a push in midair, but it was out of the frying pan and into the fire, and I ended up leaping right into Hyorinmaru's fanged maw.

I didn't even have time to scream.

His jaws closed around me, and everything went black.

* * *

><p>Hyorinmaru clattered as he hit the wood floor. I sat a few feet away, panting heavily, my heart hammering in my chest as I stared at the zanpakuto.<p>

That crazy dragon had just tried to _kill_ me!

And unfortunately it seemed I hadn't come out of it completely unscathed. While the shihakusho was unharmed (apparently going into that inner world doesn't affect clothes), when I pulled the sleeve back I saw the same four bloody furrows that Hyorinmaru's tail had inflicted on me.

Warm liquid flowed down my cheek, and I lifted my other hand to brush against a stinging cut. I probably got that from the ice shards that were thrown from Hyorinmaru's tail whenever he slammed it into the ground, just like several other cuts and puncture wounds I could immediately see; there's no telling how many other injuries I'd sustained from that rather one-sided battle.

I sighed, the adrenaline slowly leaving my system and leaving me even more exhausted than before, which, considering Hitsugaya's state at the time of waking, was really saying something.

I could understand why he was so furious. The dragon was half of Hitsugaya's _soul_, and Hitsugaya was half of his. At first, it was just the two of them, two parts of the same whole; even way back when Hitsugaya lived in the Rukon district, Hyorinmaru had still been there, lurking beneath the surface of his soul, biding his time for the day when Hitsugaya would summon him.

Now _I'm_ here somehow, and Hyorinmaru is alone, completely separated from his wielder. God knows where Hitsugaya himself is…

Gently I picked Hyorinmaru up and returned him to his stand, careful not to touch his hilt again, and placed the sash back in its drawer.

I would try speaking to him when he calmed down.

I left the room.

* * *

><p>The scratches on my cheek and various other parts I didn't really have to worry about, as they were superficial and had already stopped bleeding, but the gouges on myHitsugaya's right arm still oozed blood (not to mention they really freaking _hurt_). Rummaging through the cabinets, I found some strips of bandages in the bathroom and wrapped my arm up as best I could after rinsing it with cold water. I hoped for Hitsugaya's sake that it wouldn't scar too badly.

Of course, if I wanted to prevent it scarring at all, I needed to go see Captain Unohana, but I didn't know how to get all the way over to Squad 4 much less find _her_. And I couldn't ask anyone; that'd give the whole thing away, and I needed to keep this as quiet as possible for as long as possible.

I headed back out into the garden and sat in the grass, one hand in the water of the little pond while the other rested in my lap. Apparently the koi were either used to Hitsugaya's presence or weren't afraid of him, because they swam around the pond like his/my hand wasn't there and even brushed against it a few times.

I sat there, thinking.

If Hyorinmaru completely _rejected_ me, how was I supposed to use him to fight? No matter what episode I was currently in, Hitsugaya would have to use Hyorinmaru eventually; it was just a matter of time. But now the dragon was enraged at my "intrusion," and wouldn't talk to me without trying to slice me in half.

That, coupled with Hitsu's other skills (like Shunpo, Hakuda, and especially Kido), were going to be _insanely_ difficult to explain away if I could even do it at all. I just didn't know _how_ to do them.

I sighed, looking up at the clouds overhead.

Hyorinmaru's little stunt had cost me about three hours in real time, even though it had felt like only minutes in the snowy plain. (I wonder how the hell that even happened; considering the fact that when Zangetsu did it with Ichigo during his fight with Kenpachi, it only took a second at most, shouldn't it have been the same here?) It was sunset now; the sky blazed with color. Vibrant oranges mixed with subdued gold and warm red, and the edges of the clouds further away were tinged with purple, a warning of the darkening sky. Further back, where it was already dark blue, a set of tiny lights twinkled.

It was a beautiful sight.

But it did nothing to temper my current frustration.

I heard the door behind me slide open, and Rangiku said, "You're supposed to stay _inside_ and rest, Captain."

I sighed again, trying not to be annoyed with her. "I can rest out here just as well as I can in there, Lieutenant," I retorted.

Rangiku laughed. "Stubborn as always, Captain," she said, completely unruffled. "At least come inside and have tea with me so I can tell you what happened today."

I lifted my hand out of the pond, flicking the water off, before standing and nodding, keeping my face carefully neutral.

Rangiku must have seen the bandages peeking out from under the sleeve of the shihakusho when I turned to face her, because a second later she asked, "What happened to your arm?"

"Hyorinmaru surprised me," I answered honestly, stepping onto the porch.

"Captain Unohana's orders were to take it easy today," the blond retorted, looking stern. "If you're tired enough to actually admit to being tired, you shouldn't be training with Hyorinmaru."

"Well it wasn't my fault he picked the wrong time to talk," I muttered, mentally glaring at the sword.

"He materialized?" the buxom Lieutenant said in surprise.

I shook my head as we walked into the living room. "No. He just pulled me into his inner world and caught me off guard. For once, I was careless." And I was, too. You don't just go around playing with other people's zanpakuto. _That _little fact was something that was now burned into memory…

Rangiku pursed her lips. "You should at least let Captain Unohana look at it," she said, but Hitsugaya's stubborn pride demanded that I say, "No. It'll heal just fine on its own."

Thankfully Rangiku dropped the subject, and I sat down on one of the couches while she walked into the kitchen space to make tea.

The stuff she brought out actually wasn't all that bad, and it got me thinking. Taste was determined by your taste buds, so if I was in Hitsugaya's body, theoretically I'd like all the stuff Hitsugaya liked, right? So I'd be able to drink tea and eat watermelons and stuff. That would help big time with keeping up appearances. I took another thoughtful drink while listening to Rangiku blabber.

"-and then Izuru got hit in the face with Yachiru's bowl of noodles, while Renji was accidentally whacked by Ikkaku's bokken, and-"

"Matsumoto," I interjected with false exasperation, continuing to look everywhere _but _eye-level, "the more you talk, the less it sounds like you completed your paperwork. I hope I won't find a stack of it on my desk tomorrow morning."

Rangiku laughed and waved her hand at me. "Don't worry, Captain, everything's been taken care of," she said flippantly. "You won't find a single scrap of paper in your office! Promise!"

I sipped the warm tea, glad she'd made something Hitsugaya liked (while wondering what the heck it actually was). "And I'm sure you managed to finish it all without shunting it off to another officer, such as, say, Lieutenant Kira, I suppose?" I said coolly.

To my amusement, she gave a nervous sort of laugh and said, "Captain, I'd never do that! How could you even think I'd do such a thing?"

"Because you like lazing around and drinking sake," I shot back, smirking slightly. "I _know_ you, Matsumoto." Probably more than she realized, considering my relative "omnipotence" concerning the plotline (at least up to episode 136…). However, past that…

I decided not to dwell on that for now, instead gazing outside and commenting, "It's been a quiet day."

"Nice though, considering it's early September," Rangiku murmured, setting her cup on the wooden coffee table.

Early September… early September… Hmm. September, October, November…

…December! Four months!

_**FUCK**_**.**

_I was stuck in the Arrancar arc!_

* * *

><p><em>Damnit.<em>

It was dark now. Rangiku had left an hour ago. I was currently sitting on the porch (again), pondering my place in the universe.

The universe that seemed to like suddenly throwing shit like this in my face.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair… then instantly whacked myself in the head. _I gotta stop treating it as _my_ hair; Hitsugaya's hair is all spiky, so I need to stop accidentally messing it up, damnit!_

I gave another frustrated sigh (I seem to be doing that a lot lately…). This was all so confusing… What the hell did I do to deserve this happening to me? Cheesy as it sounds, I've been one of those "good girl" types of people. I don't smoke, don't drink or do drugs, I do my homework… I pretty much live under a rock. My world is small.

I'm nothing special; I've _never_ been anything special. I've never done anything to merit this recent turn of events. Which begs the question: chance, or fate?

Although I have no idea what fate could have in mind by sticking me in an anime guy's body, but hey. Throw me a bone, here.

Aaaarrrrgh… Damnit, why can't I just go _home_?

The thought of home – sweet, normal, wonderful _HOME_ – left me choking up, and I forced back frustrated tears. After all, it would be a cold day in Hell if Hitsugaya started crying…

Katie… Mom… Dad… All my wonderful anime-loving friends…

_I need something to take my mind off them_, I thought, depressed. I stared at the garden.

It wasn't as pretty as it was during the day (especially at sunset), but it had a certain tranquil quality (which was definitely something I needed right then). The moonlight turned most of the petals on the sakura silver, while little golden dots floated through the air, winking in and out of existence; fireflies.

_The firefly's light_

_gives hope to the lost girl's soul._

_She will find her way._

Sudden haiku. Hmm.

Feeling inspired, I got up and walked into the living room. I rummaged around a bit and found some paper, a few brushes, and a little black bottle of what was apparently ink (sure smelled like it, at any rate…). I moved back out onto the porch and sat down and started writing, the task doing wonders to move my mind off of 'what-if's and 'what-should-be's.

* * *

><p>Rangiku smiled to herself, her footsteps silent as she moved through the halls of Hitsugaya's home, a half-empty bottle of sake in her hand.<p>

It was probably a good idea to come and check on him, she mused, taking a quick drink. After all, if he was still awake – at midnight, no less – then she could use the threat of Unohana forcing him to stay away from paperwork for another day to get him into bed and thus escape chastisement. If he was asleep, then she had nothing to worry about anyway… Not to mention he was adorable when he was asleep!

It seemed like he slept so little these days… It was a rare event that she got to catch him completely asleep, curled in his blankets and acting like his actual age… It wasn't exactly surprising. Everyone was suffering – and trying to recover – in their own way after the defection of three Captains…

Rangiku shook her head, now (unfortunately) completely sober. No use getting depressed now; the past was the past. They had the future to look toward.

The buxom Lieutenant silently slid open the shoji door leading to her Captain's bedroom. The bed inside was empty. She wasn't surprised.

Her next course of action was to slide open the shoji door leading to the garden.

And lo and behold, there he was.

His back was facing her, proudly displaying the Squad 10 symbol on his haori. His legs were hanging off the porch, and he was leaning against a wooden column. An inkwell and a brush were resting on a stack of paper by his side.

"Captain?" Rangiku whispered. No response.

She moved around in front of him, and grinned.

His head was leaning against the post, and his turquoise eyes were hidden behind closed lids. His breath was soft and steady, his robes were wrinkled from being in the same position too long, and in his hand was a loosely-held stack of paper.

_Captain, Captain, Captain… Even when you're this exhausted, you just won't give up your paperwork,_ Rangiku thought, slowly taking the papers from his loose grip and looking them over. _Hmm. This isn't paperwork… It isn't even Japanese. Just what were you working on, Captain?_

Setting the strangely marked papers aside, she gently picked up the young boy and carried him to bed, where he immediately curled into the blanket.

Looking adorable as he did so.

_I wish I had a camera…_ Rangiku thought wistfully. She left the room and slid the shoji door closed.

The blond stood outside Hitsugaya's door for a moment, trying in vain to make some sense of the papers she'd picked up, but quickly gave up; to her, it was unreadable gibberish. She moved into the living room and set the papers on the table before leaving to head back to her own quarters.

_I'll just ask him about them in the morning._

* * *

><p><span>Author's Note<span>: I think this chapter went by too fast… Or maybe I've just been staring at it too long. Neither would surprise me.

Anyway, not really satisfied with both the Hyorinmaru encounter and the ending of the chapter. Seems like I could've put more detail into the fight, and I just don't particularly like the third-person ending as a whole. Nyeh. I'll edit it later if I have to.

Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated!


	4. Effort

Author's Note: I AM ALIIIIIIIIIVVVEEEEE! IT'S A MIRACLE!

Holy crap! My last update was… 6/11/11! Over three months ago! SHEESH!

Since I'm sure you're not in the mood to hear me ramble, I shall just say I was ridiculously busy and let you continue with the chapter.

Speaking of the chapter… I suppose I'm happier with this one than I am with the previous one, but… I don't like the way the Hyorinmaru encounter turned out. It seemed good while I was writing it, but now that I'm looking over it again it doesn't seem right somehow. I think the tone of it changed too much without me really noticing; now instead of being a scared little wimp, I'm cussing him out. owo

I've probably been staring at it too long. I'll just leave the opinions to you readers. In any case he'll be back to normal eventually, and will start to think about nomming my face off before actually attempting to do it. XDXD

Before I start though, I'd like to give a big Arigatou! to Lychee no Shinjitsu, whose encouraging words gave me inspiration enough to resume work on this fic even in the midst of my homework hurricane. :D

Anyway, on with the fic! God knows you guys have waited long enough! X3

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4: Effort<span>

I had that same damned dream again.

Except this time, instead of a bloody Aizen, Hitsugaya showed up, cut completely in half and demanding that I give him his body back.

Not a pleasant experience, especially when he then tried to separate my head from my body via Hyorinmaru.

However, this time I didn't wake up screaming (don't ask me how or why; I have no idea why that wasn't creepy enough to make me scream). Instead, what slowly woke me up was the fact that my arm seriously _itched._

Not opening my eyes (I rather hoped I could get some more sleep), I drowsily reached over and tried to scratch it, before a gentle hand closed around it and kept me from moving.

"Hold on one moment more please, Captain Hitsugaya. I'm almost finished," I heard a woman say. Dimly I realized that the itching was coming from my _injured_ arm (so it was a good thing that I _hadn't_ scratched it), I apparently had fallen asleep in the shihakusho, and that Unohana's calming presence filled the room (which, I must add, I don't remember entering last night to go to bed… Hmm…).

I opened bleary turquoise eyes and saw my/Hitsugaya's arm bathed in the emerald light of a healing Kido. The sleeve of the shihakusho was pushed up, and the bandages were off, so I could see the skin slowly reforming. The cuts themselves were little more than thin red lines now. As I waited I idly noticed the hazy light streaming through the windows and realized I must have overslept again; typical me, wasting time even when I'm not meaning to.

A couple minutes later she was done; nothing remained of the four long cuts, not even faint scars. Evidence of her incredible skill with Kido. The itchy feeling had left with the glow, so when I pushed myself up, Unohana let go of my hand, and passed me a white paper bag.

"I requested that the Head Captain give you the rest of the week off for rest. Lieutenant Matsumoto has already been notified and will tend to all work during that time," she said, her calm aura making me drowsy again. "In the bag is some medicine to help you sleep; take two each night. There's enough to last two weeks, and if needed, you can come see me for more."

She stood up and moved toward the door. I opened the bag, and, while there _was_ a little bottle of pills in there, there was also a folded-up sheet of paper… a sheet of paper that, when unfolded, revealed itself to be a _map_, with a red line leading from here to Squad 4.

"Unohana," I blurted before I could stop myself. Her hand paused on the door as she glanced back at me. "Uh… Is it all right if I stop by the Squad Four barracks later today? I need… help with something." Forget staying in character; I really needed someone to help me out, or else my status would get even worse than "Royally Screwed."

She smiled slightly. "Of course, Captain Hitsugaya. Is noon all right with you?"

I nodded. It wasn't like I'd be doing anything important or work-related today anyway, so whenever she was available was good enough for me.

Her job done, she slid open the shoji and stepped out… right as Matsumoto stepped in.

"All better, Captain?" she asked cheerily, bouncing as she walked to the bedside.

"You called her here, didn't you?" I asked, keeping my voice level. Even when I'd told her not to-

"Yes. I was worried about you," she replied, a little bit of her Rangiku-brand enthusiasm fading.

-she went and did it anyway.

'_THANK YOU!_' I thought gratefully, SO happy she'd disobeyed my "order" (especially since it was one I hadn't wanted to give) and saved Hitsugaya's arm from a few new scars.

"_Don't_ worry. He won't do it again," I said gruffly, although I really had no idea if Hyorinmaru would or not… I was of course hoping for the latter.

Rangiku gave me a sort of exasperated smile.

"You _can_ ask for help once in a while, Captain," she said, flicking strawberry-blond hair over her shoulder. "It's not going to kill you."

I snorted. "Matsumoto, I'm a Captain. I'm the one doing the helping," I shot back. "And speaking of helping, shouldn't you be in the office right now?"

"Oh, uh, right away, Captain! That paperwork will be done in no time!" the buxom Lieutenant said enthusiastically. Then a light bulb seemed to come on over her head, and she suddenly walked out of the room, reappearing a few seconds later with papers in her hand.

"Speaking of paperwork, Captain…" she said as she passed them to me. "What were you working on last night?"

Ooooops.

So _that's_ what had happened. Rangiku must have brought me in here after I must have fallen asleep on the patio, then tried to decipher my writing.

Since it was in English, she wouldn't have been able to read it (unless she's secretly bilingual), but…

"It's… haiku," I said lamely. Ohhhhhh, _why_ can't I be in MY body and Hitsugaya be in HIS?

Rangiku looked like I'd just said I planned to go to a bar with Shunsui tonight. "Really? Captain, I didn't know you wrote haiku," she said, surprise evident in her tone.

"It's relaxing," I said as I shrugged, "and Unohana barred me from the office anyway. I didn't have much to do."

"Can you read me some?"

"…Why?" I asked, feeling completely stupid about the whole thing. WHY hadn't I come up with an excuse? _WHY had I said HAIKU?_

"Because you wrote it in a different language or something and I can't read it," she replied, giving me puppy eyes (which of course had no effect whatsoever) as I mentally hit myself in the head. "C'mon, Captain, I promise I won't tell anyone."

Frick.

Yeah, writing haiku _was_ relaxing, but that didn't mean I always liked what I came up with. Besides, there were very UN-Hitsu haikus in there, having to do with white dragons and other such metaphors: grinning snakes and emo peaches and orange strawberries and the like.

I knew full well that she would keep nagging me about it, but I tried to weasel out anyway.

"Matsumoto, if you don't want more paperwork on top of what you should already be doing, you will drop the subject and go to the office," I said forcefully.

"All right, Captain, have it your way, then," Rangiku replied with a completely unconvinced smile as she walked out.

Great. She'd nag me later, then.

As she closed the door behind her, I flopped back down on the bed. Damnit, Rangiku could be _annoying_ sometimes. Fun and awesome, but also annoying.

Hmm…

Since I was already going to Squad 4 to tell Unohana about my predicament, I might as well bring Rangiku along as well. While letting more people know about me is soooo bad of an idea that it could change the fate of and possibly destroy the universe (okay, maybe not _that_ bad), Rangiku _should_ know, because she's the closest person to Hitsugaya not counting Miss I'm An Aizen-Obsessed Fangirl. That means that she knows him well, and because of her position as Squad 10's Lieutenant, she could help me cover my tracks, so to speak.

As well as help me train, because I'm gonna need it if I'm going to get myself out of this mess and live to tell the tale.

That decided, I realized I should probably go get cleaned up. Rangiku had removed the haori but had left me in the shihakusho, so I'd have to find a spare after I got out of the show-

Oh.

_OH._

_**OH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!**_

I have realized something. Something obviously important. Something pertaining to my sanity. You might be wondering what it is. I suppose I'll tell you.

Of all the characters I could have landed in, it couldn't have been Rukia, or Orihime, or even Rangiku, or even some nameless girl! It just HAD to be Hitsugaya.

Hitsu-fucking-gaya.

A GUY.

You might be wondering why I'm freaking out and using so many of those wonderful expletives. If you are, you're either a complete idiot, or you obviously can't remember my gender. I am a GIRL, a girl who has the current misfortune/curse of being stuck in a GUY's body.

And not only did I need a shower, but of course there just HAD to be something else.

Nature was calling, and nature does not like to be ignored.

If I would've looked in the mirror, I'm pretty sure I would have seen that Hitsugaya's face was tomato red. And that one of his eyes may or may not have been twitching.

Seriously, for a moment I think I died and went straight to Hell.

Because if you haven't yet noticed…

THIS SITUATION IS NOT AIDING MY MENTAL HEALTH IN ANY WAY.

You know how you never see anime characters in the bathroom unless it's for comedic effect? So all the characters are "holding it" for several episodes, if not entire plot arcs.

If I'd ended up in an ANIME anime version of Bleach, theoretically I'd be able to "hold it" until the end of the frickin' series.

But obviously there were no lines to be found and no signs of cel shading anywhere. This Bleach was real, real, real, right down to every grain in the wooden floors and each snowy hair on Hitsugaya's head.

So I had NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER of "holding it," and unless I wanted to have another reason to look for a spare shihakusho, I needed to get to the bathroom ASAP.

…I think I stood outside the damn door staring at it blankly for a good half-hour before nature _insisted_ I get in there and get it over with.

I shall NOT go into any details, but let's just say that I dearly hope none of you girls ever have the misfortune of getting stuck in a guy's body and leave it at that.

However, there is good news: Nature was no longer bothering me, I'd gotten the shower over with (I think I was literally _steaming_ I was so red), and I found a bottle of hair gel! So now Hitsugaya's hair was back to full spikyness.

…My life obviously really, really, REALLY sucks if I'm calling all that crap "good news."

By the time I was done with everything, it was a couple minutes past 10am, which meant I had an hour and a half to kill before I had to hunt down Rangiku and find my way to the Squad 4 barracks (I'm HOPING the way there won't take thirty minutes, but I'm allowing for any sort of "road blocks" or "detours" we might encounter).

So I decided to spend that time getting a few of my thoughts in order.

I pulled out some more paper, found the inkwell and brush, and began to write down what I knew:

-Stuck in the Arrancar arc,  
>-Winter War in four (-ish?) months,<br>-Need to train if I want to live,  
>-Hyorinmaru wants to eat my face off,<br>-No idea how to get back in my body and get Hitsu back in his,  
>-No idea how to use even basic soul reaper techniques,<br>-Must stay in character and hope no one can read English,  
>-Unohana and Rangiku will soon know about me,<br>-Possibility of Hitsu death during DiamondDust Rebellion (whenever it happens)  
>-Rangiku needs to close her frickin' shirt,<br>-Momo's still in a coma,  
>-Gin is awesome,<br>-Yamamoto is a bastard,  
>-Aizen needs to die,<br>-And my life officially sucks.

* * *

><p>An hour and a half later found me wandering the halls of the Squad 4 barracks with a bemused buxom Lieutenant in tow.<p>

Actually, I was in tow of HER. I'd told her, my tone completely serious, that she needed to escort me to Unohana; don't ask questions, just do it, because this was important and I'd explain later. I didn't want to waste time with the map (I'd memorize it later), and Rangiku was going to know about everything soon anyway, so…

I could almost feel her confusion, but I didn't say anything until we reached Unohana.

The motherly Captain was standing outside the door to what seemed to be a randomly-picked room in the hall. We walked in, and she closed the door.

"What did you need to speak to me about, Captain Hitsugaya?" Unohana asked, though I'm sure she already knew the answer.

"No one's going to randomly barge in here, right?" I asked. She nodded.

"And no one can eavesdrop?"

Nod.

"Good," I sighed in relief. The last thing I needed was word of this spreading around.

"Captain, what's going on?" Rangiku asked, blatant concern on her face.

"Before I say anything, I need both of you to promise that what I say here will never leave this room," I said seriously. "If word does get out, it could be disastrous for _everyone_. Understand?"

Both women nodded.

That over with, I let out another sigh. How to put this delicately…

"You know how I fainted yesterday?" I asked Rangiku, not attempting to stay in character anymore.

Rangiku looked a little uneasy. "Of course."

"Well, you were right. Hitsugaya never faints."

Yep, that's me, completely lacking any sort of tact. Rangiku looked confused but I quickly cut her off before she could say anything.

"I'm not Hitsugaya," I blurted, mentally saying '_Screw tact! Let's just get this over with!_' "I mean, this is his body, but I'm not him." I looked at Rangiku apologetically. "Hyorinmaru was furious when he found out; that's why he attacked me," I said quietly.

"So if you're not the Captain," the buxom Lieutenant said worriedly, "then who are you?"

I felt my face get warm, and based on Rangiku's surprised look, I realized it was probably her first time seeing Hitsugaya blush.

"I, er… Um…"

Crap.

It was an awkward, fidgety moment as I tried to figure out a good way to put this.

"First off, I'm American." That seemed like a good start. "What you saw on those papers was English. I wrote all that haiku stuff last night when I started getting depressed."

"How is it that you can speak Japanese?" Unohana asked, probably just for the sake of asking.

I decided to wait until they knew who I was before I told them how I knew of their world. "I'll get to that in a minute," I replied. "Second, until this happened, I was perfectly _normal_. No soul reapers or monsters or strange powers or anything. And third…"

I swallowed, and felt my face get even warmer.

"I'm a girl."

One look at their shocked faces and I knew that not even Unohana had expected THAT, though she didn't look nearly as shocked as the Squad 10 Lieutenant.

"Um, I-I'm Allison… Allison Kane," I stammered, feeling incredibly nervous and completely ridiculous and about twenty other things all at once. Keep in mind the fact that _I'm_ not saying this; technically, it's Hitsugaya. That doesn't help towards making the situation any less awkward.

Unohana, being Unohana, must have sensed (or most likely seen) my intense discomfort, because the next moment, she was leaning down to give me a hug. It felt so warm and just plain _mom_-ish that I completely broke down, burying my face in Unohana's haori and dampening the fabric.

It had been so long since I'd actually _cried_. Sure, there'd been frustrated eye-watering whenever my dad yelled at me, maybe a tear or two shed over character death, but I haven't cried since I was ten.

"I'm so confused…" I murmured. "I don't know why this happened… Why it had to happen to _me_… I just want to go home…"

Rangiku walked over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It'll be all right," I heard her say. "We're here to help."

"But it _won't_ be all right," I shot back, getting back some control of my emotions. Unohana released me, and they both gazed at me with concerned expressions.

"See, where I'm coming from, you guys, everyone you know, _everything_ in this world, is just an anime," I said. "Just a made-up world created by a really cool manga author. In my world there is no Soul Society, no Hollows, no afterlife, no nothing. My sister and I watched Bleach – the anime you're all in – because we liked the plot and the characters and it was a good distraction from boring reality. We never thought that Bleach could ever affect us like this – why would we? – but now that I'm here, it has, and I don't know why."

Rangiku's stormy gray eyes were wide. "But… How is that possible?" she said, disbelief clear in her voice. "Our world… just… made up? Just fiction?"

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's true," I replied, trying to break this to them gently but failing absolutely miserably. "And it gets worse. I've seen plenty of Bleach episodes, and I know a lot about what's going to happen, but unless I have some help, everything's gonna get screwed up because I have no idea how to fight!"

I ended up kind of yelling that last part out of frustration, my fears coming back and slapping me in the face with all the subtlety of Mayuri's bankai.

For once, Unohana's graceful smile wasn't present, replaced instead with a sort of worried/concerned/thoughtful almost-frown. "What exactly is going to happen?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head. "I can't tell you," I said apologetically. "In order to make sure everyone who's supposed to be alive _stays_ alive, I need everything to play out as close to the original anime as possible. That's where I'm going to need your help. While I know enough about Hitsugaya to act like him for a while, I won't be able to keep the illusion up without your help. Rangiku, I need you to teach me how to fight, and Unohana, I need to learn some healing Kido. Like, really soon, because I already know I'm going to need it."

Unohana nodded, while Rangiku blurted, "But what about Hyorinmaru?"

She had an excellent point, one I'd already started to think about. "I don't know," I replied slowly. "I plan on talking to him if he's willing to listen, but… I think I'll have to convince him that helping me is the best way to keep Hitsugaya alive, because if I can't use him, it'll seriously get everything messed up… as well as get me killed."

"How do you know that?" the blond woman asked, a slight quiver in her voice.

I looked away, blinking back the start of more tears. "In his next fight, he won't be able to survive the battle without bankai," I whispered, my voice cracking. "If Hyorinmaru won't help me… Hitsugaya is going to die, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

* * *

><p>The three of us talked for at least another hour or two, discussing various abilities, battle tactics, my sort-of-kind-of-not-really up-to-episode-136 "omnipotence," and universal loopholes I might be able to use to get by without Hyorinmaru's help.<p>

We didn't come up with much for that last one. If the damn dragon didn't decide to help me… well, I was kind of screwed. To put it VERY nicely.

After Rangiku and I left Unohana and returned to Hitsugaya's house, I made up my mind to try to talk to Hyorinmaru.

Even though less than a day had passed, and Hyorinmaru's fury probably wouldn't have lessened by much if any at all, I _had_ to try. If I couldn't convince him to help me to save _my_ life, then I at least needed to attempt to convince him that he should help me for his _wielder's_ sake.

We were back in Hitsugaya's bedroom. I was sitting cross-legged on the bed with Hyorinmaru laying in my lap (I hadn't touched his hilt yet), while Rangiku stood in the doorway, watching me in concern.

The walk back had been quiet and awkward, more than the walk over there had been. Thinking back, I suppose she was in a similar position as Hyorinmaru: suddenly someone close to you had been taken away and replaced with someone else in their guise. She hadn't known what to think of me, I think, after I'd told my story.

But she _was_ worried about me; there had been a subtle change in her demeanor after Unohana had hugged me, a change that had her go from feeling like a good friend to feeling a bit like a mom.

"Are you sure about his?" she asked carefully as I made myself comfortable.

"Nope," I replied. "But I have to try. For your Captain's sake if not for mine."

I looked up at her, reading the concern on her face.

"Don't worry; I'll be fine," I said, doing my best to actually sound reassuring. I took a deep breath.

"Wake me if I'm bleeding."

Before Rangiku could comment on that, I grabbed Hyorinmaru's hilt.

* * *

><p>I didn't have to wait long; I woke up in the snowy plain almost instantly, covered in snow yet again and noticing a giant ice dragon's spiked tail hovering dangerously over me.<p>

"_**Why are you here?"**_ Hyorinmaru hissed, his voice full of fury and loathing as he glared at me with intimidating crimson eyes.

I pushed myself to my feet as I had last time, noticing that the dragon seemed bigger than he'd been before; more threatening, too.

"I'm here to talk," I called back, trying to keep my voice level as I held his gaze.

Hyorinmaru snarled, his eyes becoming narrowed red lines. _**"What could we possibly discuss, human?"**_ he roared savagely. _**"You are an intruder here; leave now, or I will crush you where you stand!"**_

"You won't if you want your wielder to stay alive!" I shot back forcefully. "I'm here because I need your help, Hyorinmaru. Hitsugaya is gone, and unless you help me, you're going to get Hitsugaya's body killed!"

"_**This is your fault to begin with!"**_ the giant dragon roared, his wings beating the air in agitation. _**"You took him! Now bring him back!"**_

"I can't! Believe me, I would if I could but I _CAN'T!_" I yelled as I was buffeted by gusts of wind from his wings. This whole thing was going downhill _fast_, and unless I could come up with something to calm him down, I was going to be one dead pancake.

"Just listen to me! I want to be gone just as much as _you_ want me gone, but right now there's nothing we can do about it! Hitsugaya will die if you don't help me, so if you want him to live you're going to have to work with me whether you like it or not!"

"_**You lie! What proof could you possibly have that my wielder will perish if I do not aid you?"**_

I bit back a scathing retort. This wasn't going anywhere, and I'd only be digging my grave by speaking my mind.

However, Hyorinmaru seemed to take my silence as a challenge. I heard splintering ice, and quickly forced myself to move to avoid the dragon's tail, the tail that had slammed into the ground where I'd just been not a second earlier, peppering me with icicle shards.

With a roar that made the ground shake, he whipped his tail toward me again, and I had to throw myself on the ground to avoid it as the spiked tip sailed mere centimeters over my head. Had Hitsugaya been any taller, Hyorinmaru's tail would have caught his head as he was falling, doing much worse damage than a mere concussion. I thanked every god under the sun that Hitsugaya was as short as he was before swearing and jumping away from another attack.

I could feel the rush of adrenaline in my veins, giving me a boost as I moved, but it wasn't enough. The very tip hit me as it whizzed past with enough force to spin me around and actually throw me a few feet, its sharpened point creating another lovely gash (this time on my shoulder), and I swore again when the wound stung as I moved to push myself up.

I should probably have been scared out of my wits (like I'd been last time), but all I felt now was anger; anger at the dragon's damn pride, anger at his refusal to listen, anger at this whole goddamned situation…

'_Damnit…_' I thought, breathing hard as I shakily rose to my feet. '_This is ENOUGH. I have _HAD IT_!_'

"_Hyorinmaru, god damnit, stop attacking and just __**listen to me!**_" I roared furiously, and as I watched some invisible force seemed to stop his deadly tail just as he'd raised it to strike again.

However, in a split second it was not his tail I was faced with, but his head, his giant icicle-like fangs showing as he curled his lip contemptuously at me.

"_**You dare command me, human?"**_ he hissed, his icy voice filled with primal rage as it echoed across the plain. _**"I am a dragon; I obey no one!"**_

I glared at him in frustration. This damn _lizard_ was making me pissed off enough to swear out loud, and believe it or not, that's something I _never_ do.

"You obey your wielder, don't you?" I retorted scathingly, remembering how I had known last time that he "bowed to no one but Hitsugaya." "Does that mean you're nothing more than a dog, a dog that listens to no one but its master and turns on others when he's not around?"

"_**YOU ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE, FOOLISH GIRL!"**_

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR PATIENCE!" I spat, tired of arguing in circles with the damn dragon. "You're not a dog, you're a _dragon_! You say you obey no one, right? So what are you going to do? You're going to ignore whatever the fuck I say and decide! Decide for _yourself_ on whether or not you want Hitsugaya to die! If you don't care about my life, well it sucks for me, but it's your choice! If you won't do this for me, then at least do it for _him_, damnit!"

I could feel angry tears sliding down my face, but I couldn't care less. At that point I could feel my anger slowly start to trickle away, but I wasn't done yet. No way in hell was I done yet.

"I'm willing to do what I have to in order to protect Hitsugaya, but I can't do ANYTHING unless you help me! So decide, dragon! Are you going to help me survive or are you going to run and hide because your master's gone?"

Hyorinmaru literally seethed with rage. I could feel his overpowering fury tearing the air apart, the falling snow being swept up in the maelstrom. The fierce gale tore at Hitsugaya's robes, threatening to knock me down and force me to submit to Hyorinmaru's dominating anger, but I held my ground, defiantly meeting his blood-red gaze and glaring back at him as the snow swirled around me.

"_**You overstep your boundaries, human,"**_ Hyorinmaru hissed dangerously, his tail thrashing the air.

"_Decide_!" I yelled forcefully.

His head moved lower until his crimson eyes were leveled in front of me. They were full of hatred and scorn, at me and at my very existence, but I glared at him for all I was worth, putting all my anger and frustration and everything else I could think of into my gaze.

After a moment of harsh silence, Hyorinmaru suddenly reared back and roared, his strident cry echoing through his domain and shaking the world around me, and everything went black, as if his jaws had closed around me once again.

* * *

><p>I woke up back in the "real" world as if I had been picked up and forcefully thrown back, the mental impact leaving me winded.<p>

Rangiku was at my side in an instant. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I chewed him out, and he didn't like it," I muttered rebelliously. Glaring at the blade as if he was the cause of all my problems, I picked him up and, in a fit of childish anger, threw the stupid sword against the wall. "Damn dragon…"

Rangiku hurried over and picked him up, glaring at me. "What happened?" she repeated, more forcefully.

I glared back, SO not in the mood for what definitely sounded like an upcoming lecture.

"I don't know, and at the moment I'm not really giving a damn," I replied darkly. "I tried to get him to talk, he attacked me, we yelled a lot, and then he roared and kicked me out. God _damnit_ that dragon really pissed me off!"

"He didn't agree to help, did he?" Rangiku commented as she placed him on his stand.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I don't know, okay! I don't know! He didn't say before he kicked me out!"

The blond fukutaichou huffed. "You're not helping, you know. We _need_ Hyorinmaru's cooperation."

"How am I supposed to get it if he won't talk to me?" I yelled angrily. "The damn dragon won't get off his high horse to talk to a lowly _human_!"

I don't deal with anger well, as you've no doubt noticed; probably a result of keeping most of it bottled up for most of my life.

Deep down I knew Rangiku was probably just trying to calm me down, trying to get me to start _thinking _again instead of just blurting what I was feeling, but instead her efforts just pissed me off further.

"Why did I have to be stuck here!" I yelled to no one in particular. "I didn't ask for this, damnit!"

_SMACK!_

I stood there in shocked silence for several seconds, the sting of Rangiku's slap numbing the side of my face.

"Get a grip," she said forcefully, her gray eyes hard. "Yelling and crying about your situation isn't going to help anyone!"

Silently I sat back on the bed as if in a daze, my anger dissipating in an instant to be replaced with exhaustion, guilt, and self-loathing.

"God…"

I stared blankly at the wooden floor.

"I'm so weak…" I murmured. "Get me out of my comfort zone, and I start freaking out and acting completely pathetic. Hitsugaya's missing, the Winter War is coming up, and I'm pitching a fit like a petulant child." I laughed humorlessly. "I'm a _fool_."

"I can't claim to know what you're going through," I heard Rangiku say quietly, "but I think anyone would be stressed and scared if they were in your situation. Your whole world has suddenly changed; it's not an easy thing to deal with."

She sat down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"That's no excuse to start throwing a temper tantrum," I muttered. "If Hitsugaya was stuck in my body – and hell, he probably is! – he'd be dealing with it calmly and rationally, and he'd start coming up with ways to get everything back to normal. Plus he'd have Katie to help him out since she knows me almost as well as _I_ know me."

"Well, I'm sure your sister isn't Hyorinmaru," Rangiku retorted. "While I don't know him, Captain Hitsugaya has made several comments about how he's usually level-headed and wise. The fact that he's this angry shows that the issue is concerning him greatly, but the fact that you stood up to him says something in its own right."

I snorted. "That I have a death wish?"

She chuckled. "No, that you have a purpose; a reason for doing what you did."

I turned to look at her, quirking an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said," she replied with a smile. "Sure, you might be stressed now, and I'm sure Hyorinmaru wasn't helping, but look at what we were doing for the past two hours! While we didn't come up with many ways to try working around Hyorinmaru, we did come up with some good combat strategies. You have the advantage of knowing what's going to happen, at least up to a certain point, which is a huge asset, especially with this war coming up soon. You handled your explanation rationally, and while it might not have been as _professional_ as Captain's explanation would have been, it was just as detailed and just as logical. You're also putting others above yourself, even while you're in this situation. You're doing your best with what you have, and trying to work with it to find a way to get things back to normal. Believe me, Allison, you're _not_ weak."

I couldn't help it; I smiled, Rangiku's little pep talk doing wonders to get me back on track and start thinking straight again.

"Thanks," I said with a tired smile. "I really needed that."

"The slap or the pep talk?"

"Both, I suppose." I chuckled. "Thanks for not hitting me harder, too."

She smiled back at me, her stormy eyes twinkling. "Well, Captain wouldn't appreciate me bruising his face in his absence, would he?"

"I would think he wouldn't appreciate you bruising his face at all, really."

She laughed.

* * *

><p>After that, we pretty much just talked the whole time. It was weird; even though I didn't actually know her, and she didn't know me, I felt oddly comfortable around her. We talked like we were two good friends that hadn't seen each other in a long time, catching up on events in our lives, laughing about past blunders, giving a sympathetic pat when a bad moment was brought up… It was nice. I told Rangiku about my various conversations with Katie and debated with her on the epicness levels of some of the Bleach characters (Hitsugaya came up quite a bit, though I avoided Gin for her sake), while she told me about some of her sake escapades, what it's been like for her since she became a soul reaper, and other tidbits of her life I didn't know about.<p>

By the time the sun had set, we had moved into the living room. I'd helped Rangiku make dinner (sort of; mostly I just passed her what she needed to cook), and we sat on the couch, chatting and eating noodles (Rangiku said it was _udon_) and breaded shrimp thingies (_tempura_). (1)

It wasn't until we were finished eating and everything had been put away that Rangiku brought up a dreaded subject:

"So, are you going to read me your haiku?" she asked, grinning as she laid down on the couch next to me.

"You seriously want to hear my crappy haiku?" I said, arching a snowy eyebrow.

"Sure, why not?" she replied cheerily. "Maybe I could offer some constructive criticism."

I gave a snort of amusement as I pulled out the paper. Since she knew I wasn't Hitsugaya, it wouldn't scar his image by reading it, so I figured I might as well do it so she'd quit nagging me about it.

"All right then, if you're so dead set on it. First one:

_The sound of silence._  
><em>Dawn's light touches the sleeper.<em>  
><em>The peach does not wake.<em>"

"Who's the peach?" Rangiku asked, lifting her head to look at me.

"Our resident Aizen fangirl," I replied. "Usually I don't like her all that much – she's not exactly one of my favorite characters – but I wrote it while I was thinking about… well, stuff."

"Is this "stuff" something you can tell me?" the fukutaichou asked curiously.

I shrugged. "I suppose I _could_… Let's just say there's a bunch of Bleach fans that write lots of fanfics, many of which involving pairings between the characters, and I was thinking about one of the more canon pairings."

"'Canon' meaning what?"

"Actually existing; not a figment of fan imagination. Pairings can be divided up into, in my opinion, three groups: there's canon, pairings that actually have solid evidence. Then there's the pairings that people get by reading in-between the lines, what I go ahead and call fanon since I don't know if there's an actual term for it. And then there's the crack."

"…Should I be concerned?"

"Most likely. Actually, yes. Yes you should. See, fans are crazy. They'll literally pair up anyone with anyone, no matter the compatibility… or even the gender. I think one anime-slash-video game has over NINE THOUSAND pairings (2), or ships as they tend to be called. I've seen… ah… well, some Bleach fans just really scare me sometimes. I think I'll leave it at that. ANYWAY, back to canon."

Under NO circumstances would I be mentioning yaoi. NOT. ONE. WORD.

Or HitsuMatsu for that matter. That might _actually_ scare her, considering it's my OTP.

"While Bleach doesn't exactly focus on romance, it _is_ there. So pairings are bound to pop up," I continued. "The more canonical pairings are IchiRuki – Ichigo and Rukia, IchiHime – Ichigo and Orihime, since some fans argue that Ichigo could end up with either one, Renji and Rukia, Byakuya and Hisana – probably the only really REAL canon pairing in Bleach, Shunsui and Nanao-"

"Those two _are_ oddly suited for each other, aren't they?" the buxom Lieutenant giggled. "What other ones are there?"

"This is like good gossip to you or something, isn't it?" I asked, chuckling. "Well, there's those, and… crap, I can only think of two more."

"What are they?"

"…I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"Oh, come on. If it's canon like you say, most likely we already know about it, right?" Rangiku said. "Go ahead; tell me."

I stared at the ceiling as I replied, "HitsuHina, which is Hitsugaya and Momo, and then… there's you and Gin."

Rangiku was quiet for a long minute.

Talk about _awkward_. I _knew_ I shouldn't have said anything.

"Yeah, fans sure are weird," I said loudly, studiously _not_ looking in her direction. "ANYWAY, I was thinking about angsty HitsuHina Momo-in-a-coma stuff and that seemed like a good haiku to fit the moment. So yeah, let's not get all depressed and stuff, okay?"

"I'm not depressed," she said evenly, though there was a note of _something_ in her voice that made me _not_ believe that.

"…Is it all right if I talk about Gin?" I asked quietly. "I mean, I'm kind of used to talking about him, but if it makes you uncomfortable-"

"No, it's all right," she said, propping herself up with her elbow. "In fact, you could tell me what you think of him."

"Hmm… Well, I think he's pretty cool," I said, shrugging. "I mean, the way he talks and the way he smiles and always keeps his eyes closed just makes him seem all cool and mysterious to me. Plus he's got that kind of… oh, I don't know, snarky? Anyway, he's just got a sort of aura around him that makes him – to _me_, anyway – seem more like a prankster than someone actually bad. Kind of sadistic sometimes, maybe, but not _bad_. He's a great character in my opinion, but… I just _don't_ get him. I suppose that's a good thing, otherwise trying to figure out his motives wouldn't be as fun, but I don't know why he did what he did. It's irritating because he doesn't seem to _have_ any motives!"

Rangiku gave a tired sigh. "I suppose that makes two of us," she murmured, and I could tell she was getting lost in thought, most likely remembering her past. "Even with as long as I've known him, I've never been able to figure him out…"

I sat up as a thought hit me, and I smiled. "Hey, Rangiku."

She glanced up at me.

"How 'bout I make you a promise?" I offered. "Help me learn to fight, and I promise I'll help you get Gin back."

Her stormy gray eyes widened. "Allison-"

"I'm serious," I said, cutting her off. "I'll drag him out of Hueco Mundo and force him to tell you why he left if that's what it takes, with or without Hyorinmaru. At the very least you deserve to know that much."

"But… What if we can't…"

"What if we can't _what_?" I said. "I just made you a promise, and I'm gonna make damn sure I see it through. So now I have no excuse to give up and stop trying, and neither do you, since you're gonna help me get there. Plus… I don't think it'll be as hard as you think it will."

She was sitting up now, looking at me as if she was trying to discover some hidden intent. "What do you mean?" she asked.

I smiled softly. "He still loves you, Rangiku. I'm sure of it."

Yeah, the whole thing was probably really idealistic, but even though hell would freeze over before I learned how to properly fight, Hitsugaya had the power to actually do that! I would learn how to fight even if Hyorinmaru didn't want to help, and I was going to help Rangiku get Gin back, plotline or not!

"So don't start moping and thinking about the past, okay?" I continued as she stared at me in shock. "We'll get Gin back, and we'll kill Aizen, and we'll get Hitsugaya back, too, so focus on that! I'll browbeat Hyorinmaru as much as I have to in order to get him to work with me! Let's both work hard to get things back to normal, all right?"

Rangiku returned my soft smile. "I didn't know it was your turn to give the pep talk," she said softly, and I could hear a small note of amusement in her tone.

I snorted. "Yeah, well that was a really sucky pep talk compared to what you told me a few hours ago," I said, "but then again, you're not being a crybaby."

She chuckled. "No, I suppose I'm not." She gazed at the ceiling as she sighed and said, "You make it sound like it'll be so easy to accomplish, though. Do you _know_ that we'll be able to do it?"

"You know I technically can't tell you that," I replied. "Buuuuut… no, I _don't_ know. That's why I'm sure it'll work."

She quirked an eyebrow. "…You lost me."

"Since I don't know what will happen with that, I can't know if we'll fail or not," I explained. "So, being the optimist that I am, I'm going to see things as half-full, so I'll believe I can do it, so I actually _can_ do it! If you're still confused, just ignore me. That's my typical Allison logic. And also possibly Orihime logic."

"…I'll just have to take your word for it," she said with an amused smile.

"Plus by that time I'll have most likely convinced Hyorinmaru to help, so it'll be even easier to accomplish!" I said cheerily. Sheesh. Since I started spouting stuff about promising to save Gin – which came out of _nowhere_, by the way – it was like _I_ was the one getting the pep talk; I felt like I'd just pep talked _myself_, I was so peppy.

"All right," Rangiku said, and I could tell she was feeling much less depressed now. "I'll work hard at training you. We'll get Captain Hitsugaya and Gin back, and we'll make it through the war."

I grinned, happy that I had gotten the conversation back to happier territory.

"That we will, Rangiku, that we will."

* * *

><p><span>Author's Note<span>: That whole Gin promise thing was soooo random… I just came up with that on the spot. Not sure if I really even like it, but since I have come to realize that I actually _do_ like Chapter 3 instead of being completely dissatisfied with it like I said earlier, I'll just give it time. Maybe I'll end up liking that part, too.

But probably not. I really hate that last section as a whole. D:

ANYWAY.

Here's some info for those that care:

(1) Udon and tempura- Udon, copy-pasted from Wikipedia, is a type of thick wheat-flower noodle of Japanese cuisine. It's usually served hot as noodle soup in its simplest form (_kake udon_), in a mildly flavored broth called _kakejiru_ which is made of _dashi_ (quote, "a class of soup and cooking stock"), soy sauce (_shōyu_), and _mirin_ (a common condiment in Japanese cuisine). Tempura is "a Japanese dish of seafood or vegetables that have been battered and deep fried," and is a common topping for udon. The tempura I'm referring to is battered shrimp (not deep fried). And that's your Japanese food lesson for today. :D

(2) "I think one anime-slash-video game has over NINE THOUSAND pairings."- This actually isn't me making an anime reference. I'm referring to the Pokémon anime. I read somewhere that it has over nine thousand named pairings, probably because someone took the names and faces of EVERY TRAINER from EVERY EPISODE and just put everything in a big blender. I mean, COME ON! That is TOO MANY PAIRINGS!

Hey, while I'm on that subject, can someone tell me if there's a list of Bleach ships? Because I'm making a list of my own and coming up with names for them (and there's a reason behind my naming, too), but it's kind of pointless if there's already a list out there. If someone could direct me to it, GREAT! If not, then SHIP-FIC, HERE WE COME! I'll take each pairing (that ISN'T completely creepy and worthy of brain bleach) and do a oneshot or something, and it'll have the name of the ship as the chapter title. Tell me if you're interested in me doing that, too, while you're at it.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, BRING ME A COOKIE!

I'll shut up now. :D

Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated as usual (I could seriously use some for this chapter…), and if you want the next chapter out ASAP, you'll send in a nice little review! :D C'mon, click the button!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. :D


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